My Path to Healing has been a Long One

My path to healing has been a long one. I have gotten impatient with myself. How much more self inquiry and meditation can a person do to heal? I have been suffering from a physical illness that is not debilitating, but it is chronic and was getting worse.

When I found Blue Deer Center I felt intimidated. This is out of my league, I thought. I won’t be able to tap into my dream world in a way that it can be helpful, told the inner voices. So my first visit was intimidating. I was afraid to connect to other people, and old hurt rose up.

But something surprising happened: I connected to the land. Instantly. I found myself visiting the Sacred River, Saskawhihiwine, first thing in the morning. I reveled in her soothing being, and the respect her presence demands.

I felt uplifted by the dance of the butterflies and the song of birds. And gradually, I connected to the people. Their presence as custodians of the land is healing in itself. Their dedication to the work is awe inspiring, and their purpose timeless.

I connected with Fire. The warmth and generosity of Fire has become an ongoing presence and support in my journey. It is teaching me to connect with Heart, and when the connection is established, there is peace and joyfulness. Almost effortlessly.

Part of the journey of healing for me is to grieve the losses that have gone unacknowledged all my life. So I grieve. And little by little, I am releasing old burdens that have held me back for a long time. There is relief in that, and freedom.

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Gerti Schoen
Ridgewood, New Jersey, USA